Youngsters could say the darndest issues, however mother and father tweet about them within the funniest methods. Each week, we spherical up essentially the most hilarious quips from mother and father on Twitter to unfold the enjoyment.
Scroll right down to learn the newest batch.
When my 2yo doesn’t need to discuss anymore, she ends the dialog with “blissful birthday” and walks away waving bye.
— Princess | Household Wellness (@themultiplemom) Might 8, 2023
assist my husband who often does bedtime is out of city & the 8-year-old out of nowhere stated he is aware of we're the tooth fairy as a result of his buddy will get $6/tooth and he solely will get $2 & the one variable is the completely different mother and father & i panicked and stated perhaps the buddy has higher tooth
— Vauhini Vara (@vauhinivara) Might 9, 2023
3 12 months outdated’s new factor when he’s attempting to be slick is asking for one thing for his “spouse.” So “I want sweet… for my spouse.” Or “I want watch television… for my spouse.”
— Joe Bernstein (@Bernstein) Might 9, 2023
My husband thought he’d attempt getting the identical sausage my 3yo eats each morning however in patties as an alternative of hyperlinks as a result of “I assumed we’d attempt a brand new form” hahahaha
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) Might 9, 2023
I've by no means skilled being swarmed by locusts, however I’ve tried to unpack groceries whereas my youngsters had been dwelling.
— Jacana Mommy (@jacanamommy) Might 9, 2023
3yo, taking part in along with her dolls: Mommy, I really like you!
Me: Aw I really like you too.
3yo: Oh. That was really my child speaking to me.
Me: Oh.
3yo: No person stated that to you.
Me: Proper.
Me: Sorry.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) Might 9, 2023
It’s the final month of faculty, listed below are 97 actions in the course of the day mother and father have to attend.
-elementary faculties
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) Might 8, 2023
My 14 12 months outdated stepson noticed this Amazon field and was like “hahahaha what’s that even speaking about” and I’d prefer to announce that I’m now prepared for the urn pic.twitter.com/PMtmHJhgbe
— Tiffany Hardy (@TiffMHardy) Might 8, 2023
My daughter is writing a poem about our canine and he or she’s looking for a phrase that rhymes along with his identify. Our canine’s identify is Tucker. This won’t finish nicely.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) Might 9, 2023
My mother stated she hoped the youngsters’ swim classes went swimmingly, which might have aggravated me not way back however now I simply want I’d considered it first
— The Mother Hack (@TheMomHack) Might 7, 2023
My 3 12 months outdated had a tantrum earlier and afterwards he apologized for yelling at me. Once I began to hug him, he stated ‘for those who simply did what I needed I wouldn’t get mad.’
Identical, child. Identical.
— One Awkward Mother (@oneawkwardmom) Might 11, 2023
My 7yo son made me a cup of espresso that in some way style like beef stew.
“Mommy, I put a sprinkle of that brown stuff in it such as you”
The brown stuff I exploit is cinnamon. The brown stuff he used was dry rub seasoning.
I can’t look forward to these youngsters to go to my mama home right this moment.
— Princess | Household Wellness (@themultiplemom) Might 6, 2023
Hated by teenagers: an evening alone, early bedtime, nothing to do
Liked by adults: an evening alone, early bedtime, nothing to do
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) Might 8, 2023
My child simply knowledgeable me that two of his stuffed animals obtained married and was offended that I hadn’t gotten them a marriage reward and apparently that is my life now.
— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) Might 9, 2023
Took our 9-year-old son to see MARGARET for the primary time final evening. (I spent the previous couple of weeks studying him the e-book in preparation to see the movie. Once we obtained about midway by it, he stopped, turned to me and stated, YOU MADE A WHOLE MOVIE ABOUT BOOBS?!!!) pic.twitter.com/gV3oou7pKF
— Kelly Fremon Craig (@KFremonCraig) Might 8, 2023
10: is it me or does every little thing style higher with mashed potatoes
-my son, attaining enlightenment
— That Mother Tho (@mom_tho) Might 10, 2023
10: dad, shut your eyes and open your mouth
me: nicely that's undoubtedly a no.
— Dadman Strolling (@dadmann_walking) Might 9, 2023
My son’s faculty was having points with messy bogs so each month they reward the boys or ladies with ice cream relying on whose bogs are cleaner and in keeping with my son it’s develop into a prank battle the place they simply fuck up one another’s rest room.
— Octopus/Caveman (@OctopusCaveman) Might 7, 2023
We have now ants and tonight at dinner:
My husband: Do you know ants go away behind a path that we are able to’t odor however the cats can?
3yo: I can.
Me: No, people can’t odor it.
3yo: *sniffing loudly* smells like ants.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) Might 9, 2023
Awoke asking myself vital existential questions like: *does* the form of a toddler’s meals actually have an effect on the flavour, can the colour of a cup decide the end result of a morning and is *true* happiness arguing about nothing for completely no motive till ur mother’s head explodes
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) Might 10, 2023
12yo, watching a video of a wombat: I’ve by no means seen one earlier than however I actually thought it might be extra bat than wom
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) Might 10, 2023
Welp I unintentionally lower my daughter’s toast into quarters as an alternative of halves so there goes my week
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) Might 8, 2023
My youngsters’ faculty is internet hosting Mom’s Day Tea at 7am on Friday. It’s like a gown rehearsal for all of the mothers who received’t get to sleep in on Sunday both.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) Might 11, 2023
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